Still here..

Haven't disappeared... just been really busy during Spring Break.  I'll post something by the end of the week!

Random

I am in a random mood, as you can see by the random pictures.  The first is just priceless.  The second is my love and me at an aquarium a few years ago.  Sharky proved to be a little more charming than Evan thought...

Thought I would write something quick that's a little more cheery than my last blog. :)

Here's a hilarious video that cheers me up instantly.  First, go to youtube.com, search for bizkit the sleep walking dog..and watch the 23 second choice. (Thank you, fellow hot librarian, who is responsible for me seeing that and spreading it for everyone else's viewing pleasure.)

It makes me laugh because I can see my dog, Kelso, doing that.  (And my other dog, Jesse, looking at him in partial disgust, partial embarrassment..)

If any of you are wondering how I'm doing with the fitness contest, well...it's going. I haven't fallen off the health wagon or anything..It's just going a little slower than I thought it would.  Apparently, when someone starts working out again, the body retains more water.. So I'm going to say that's why.  I've been working out like crazy though, which has led to me not focusing on the first 100 pages of my novel that is due next week. I will get there. Not as quickly as I would like, but I will get there.  I say that for the fitness contest and the novel deadline.

That's all for now..I know it's a rather pathetic post, but it took my stress level down a little bit.

(And no, Mom, I do not include you in the handful of annoying older people that are back in school.  You're wise, but you don't advertise it every 30 seconds.  As for you taking my advice and not carrying a rolling backpack, I appreciate it more than you will ever know.)  

Age Discrimination

Age discrimination. You do it. I do it. My dog even does it. (Kelso only barks ferociously at teenagers.) 

Disclaimer: This is not an age-basher. It stems from a handful of individuals that have no clue what they're talking about, but they assume they do because they're older and "wiser." As well as a few twenty-somethings that show a lack of maturity.  And some teenagers that really have me stumped.  

It's one of those things that just annoys me..as much as, if not more than, smacking and slurping.  If you know me at all, you know that is saying something. I have a "thing" when it comes to bad table manners. Just like bad table manners, the habit of assuming someone else's knowledge/character is also curable. Teenagers aren't all whiny.  Twenty- somethings aren't all selfish boozers.  And those over-the-hill aren't all pompous.  This blog, however, is about the ones that are.  

Being in graduate school, there are several classmates that are older than I am... I don't think they're as discriminatory as the older classmates were when I was an undergraduate...However, there are constant references to age that gets my blood uh boilin'.  

Because we're a decade or two younger than you, does it mean we don't know how to be respectful? Does it mean we can't "understand" or "grasp" the full concept of a situation or topic? Does it mean we don't know what a freaking lace doily is?  

No. It doesn't. First of all, is it truly necessary to use a lace doily in a "but youuuuuu wouldn't know what thaaaat iiiiiis" situation? No! How ridiculous is that?

Maturity levels depend on life experiences.  I know there are truly ignorant, disrespectful people my age. That doesn't mean I should be automatically in the same category as them just because we were born the same year.  

In many situations, I get along with older people more than people my age...so don't think I'm an old people hater. I just happen to be fortunate enough to have come in contact with some obnoxious older classmates.  

I can't say I'm innocent in the age discrimination thing. It's a habit for me to assume that if you're older and back to school, you probably wear hideous sweaters, have a rolling backpack, and laugh maniacally at whatever the professor says just to prove "oh, yes, Iiiiiiiii remember that. of course, Iiiiiiii know who you're talking about and what you're referring too."

As for early twenties give or take a few, I have come in contact with some that I have to resist the urge to shake them and inform them that it is not necessary to find something negative in everything and speak only the language of whining.  Really. Is your life that bad? No. It's not. There are so much bigger things out there than your friend marrying your ex-boyfriend from junior high. And don't whine about being thrown in jail, if you were drinking and driving!! I mean, come on now. You have GOT to be kidding me. 

Teenagers, well.... I can't rant about them, really. They're trying to find their place in the world...who they really are...and battle acne and puberty all at the same time. 

However, the group that randomly meets with a lone and willing participant in the school park behind my house and proceeds to beat the crap out of that lone and willing participant for some kind of stupid, wannabe gangster initiation, gets my complete confusion.  It's a suburban college town in Oklahoma, for Heaven's sake... not Harlem. And the fact that they (including the "victim") wave and smile at me as they're running away from my screeching, makes me feel more than a little befuddled.  One day I hope I catch one of them in time to ask what in the hell they're thinking...

So, that's all.  I'm all riled up thinking about those kids fighting.  

Until next time...

"Good day." (Tribute to Paul Harvey!) :)

Body Image

It's interesting to find out other people's body image of themselves and of other people--or even more interesting, other people's body image of you compared to your own body image.  Don't worry.  This post isn't going to be the mortar and pestle for my confidence.  There is a moral, and NOT a French children's story ending. 

I know I'm not overweight, yet every single day I struggle with my body image. Most days I feel like the Venus of Willendorf.  On my good days I can teeter towards Venus de Milo.  A little extreme, but that's me.  I'm a Gemini AND a female...which isn't a negative thing, necessarily..just.. you know.  Women tend to be moody anyway, and Geminis have dual personalites, sooooo...okay, moving on..

Those pesky extra pounds that creeped...okay, I'll be honest. They didn't creep on. I ingested a lot of carbs and a lot of sugar after I walked down the aisle.  No more super amazing dress to look modelesque in.  I had plenty of elastic pants to last for ages....and I just kept buying more. When I had to pull out the dreaded fat jeans from the give-away pile in the give-away dresser in the storage shed outside, I couldn't play dumb any more or pull the bloated card or the water weight card or the Aunt Flow card or the "Well, Evan says I still look really good" card. Yeah, like Evan is dumb enough to suggest a salad rather than a pizza. If I ever see the day where Evan says, "Well, baby, it looks like your muffin top is a little more overflowing than usual", I'll probably be to the point where I'm diabetic and need to go on the Biggest Loser. But I won't get there, and I know Evan wouldn't let me do that to myself.

The whole point of this blog came from me being close to tears this morning wondering what the hell is wrong with me.  I have very good friends (the kind that don't bullshit me for anything) that make my confidence go through the roof. But then the little devil on my shoulder screams at me that they're tiny, so how can they try to reassure me if they have never been more than a size 2? They don't exactly have to worry about what's going to fall out of a bathing suit and when that what will choose to do so.  

Then there are the few people who have made fat comments to me that make me feel about 2 inches tall and 12 inches wide. 

I look at Queen Latifah and Jennifer Hudson who exude confidence and sexiness. I wonder how those two women that are bigger than me look so gooooood. On the flipside, Mary-Kate Olsen and Lindsay Lohan and Kate Bosworth may be small, but they don't exactly exude confidence or sexiness. They exude the unhappy and I-need-a-cracker vibe. BUT look at Kate Beckinsale and Kate Winslet and Angelina Jolie and Rachel McAdams. They're small and healthy and confident and happy. All about body image which goes hand in hand with confidence which goes hand in hand with sexiness. I'm not a Jennifer Hudson. I'm not a Mary-Kate Olsen. Probably Scarlett Johanssonesque is a realistic goal.   

No matter how my friends build me up or who tears me down, it's all about the size that will get the bad body image hounds off my heels.  I don't want to be a size 2..I wouldn't fight it off with a stick, but I'm okay being a 6. That size isn't all that far off for me. It's just a matter of going to the gym and not pumping myself full of bread and chocolate. Easier said than done...since I love food. It just doesn't love me back. 

SO, the moral I had to teach myself today was: Don't accept yourself for what you look like now if you're not happy. Don't go crazy and look like a waif, but look like yourself. Don't settle for other people's body image of yourself. Make your own realistic one. 

Here's to lookin' like Aubrey. Cheers. 

Reality, Schmreality

First day back in the real world, and I'm trying to refrain from stomping my foot and screaming, "I DON'T WANNA!"  The weekend was great, other than being somewhat sickly on Sunday morning.  

Evan surprised me Friday night and took me to a really nice restaurant where my sister is a server.  The crab cake was phenomenal.... I don't think I'll ever be able to enter Red Lobster's doors again after having that....which probably isn't a bad thing. Seester gave us our Valentine card and a rubber chicken that squawks when twisted. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, she was under the impression that candy was inside of it...it possibly even came out of its bootay. When I tried taking off its hind quarters, however, there was a very high-pitched squawk.  No candy a la rubber chicken.

Saturday we were hermits.  We stayed in, watched movies, played with our furry children (our dogs Kelso and Jesse), and I tried to become Rachel Ray for the day.  I baked strawberry cupcakes, brownies, Swedish spritz cookies, chocolate whoopie cakes, slow-cooked salmon with herbs, orange-glazed asparagus, and parmesan rice pilaf.  Somehow, I pulled it off. 

Now I'm stuck with all the extra baked goods, which is not good for me winning the contest. Hopefully my classmates will take them off my hands today.  

Sunday I was a little sickly, so more movies and playing with the dogs and the NBA All Star game that was AMAZING. I wish I could watch games like that more often.  Those guys are ridiculous...in a very good way.  

So now, here I am, wanting to rewind and go back to the weekend where I was able to spoon my husband for almost 3 days. 

Here's a tip to couples: go get the book The Five Languages of Love by Dr. Gary Chapman. It is SO helpful once you figure out each other's language. Seriously. 

I think that has to be all for now. My brain is just not functioning quite yet, and I'm afraid I'm going to blabber on if I don't put a stop to it now. 

Picture is of my furry children camping out on our bed.  The big black one is Kelso, and the little one is Jesse. Technically, his name is Jesse James because that's the only way Evan would let me name him Jesse. 

***Am I honestly seeing CNN analyze the Rihanna/Chris Brown debacle? Good Lord. Further confirmation to the soft news/hard news crap. Leave it to E, CNN. 

Four more days until my favorite holiday....

I love Valentine's day.  I always have, even though I didn't have a man on V-Day until Evan..  It's a day of red, pink, chocolate, romance, and love. So what more could a girl ask for?  

This year I bought a ton of decorations for our house.  We kept saying we'd put them up, but we've been so busy and exhausted from work and school that we just never got around to doing it. This morning I woke up, walked out to the living room...and Evan had put them up. He has to wake up at 5:30 to go to work, but he still made time to do it. I love it when he figures out my language of love. 

In grad school news, I have to write a paper over All News Is Local by Richard C. Stanton and tie it in with the interrelation of globalization and media. It won't be difficult, but it's just a matter of doing it.  I'm not a big fan of "reports" on non-fiction books.  It's hard to get motivated...it's like I'm enlarging the pompous authors' egos to a dangerous size, and they don't really need any help in that area.  Stanton doesn't seem to be as pompous as most of the other authors on the reading list, but.... still... 

In fitness contest news, I've lost 4 pounds since Sunday.  I worked out really hard Sunday night. I thought I was going to pass out on that damn elliptical, but I put a magazine in front of me with Kate Beckinsale pictures all over it..  That will definitely make you press on and not let your fat ass get off the machine.  That woman is ridiculously gorgeous. Yesterday I was a little under the weather, so we didn't go to them gym...I still lost weight though.  We will be going tonight.  I've got to figure out a way to wake up in the early morning to do my Biggest Loser videos.. And after a long day, it's so hard to peel myself off the recliner and go.  Maybe I should put up Kate Beckinsale wallpaper all over my house.  

Not too long until my fat pants are extra loose... :) 

P.S. I don't know if any of you have given into the phenomenon that is young adult fiction, but really--there's some really great stuff out there.  One of my very favorites is the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan.  Check it out.  He makes complex Greek mythology so enjoyable and easy to understand.  It's so amazing...I wish it would have been around when I was a kid. I don't know when I'll find the time, but I really want to re-read the series very soon.  

Adios...

Adios, Flab

Well, today is the first day back on the health bandwagon. I'm having a contest with my mom and my sister to see who can lose the most weight by March 11. I'm trying to ignore my hoard of Valentine's Day candy, which is incredibly difficult because if chocolate is anywhere near me, I can usually hear it screaming, "EAT ME!" I just need to get in tune with a little thing called will power. It helps that it's a contest, and I have an actual deadline. I'm pretty excited about it, actually. I can't wait to be bikini-ready again. Maybe if you're lucky I'll post those horrid can't-look-away-but-don't-wanna-look before pictures and then a helloooooo after picture. We're still negotiating the grand prize...maybe a new outfit or a fun trip somewhere or a few new bikinis. My ULTIMATE deadline is May though. If I meet THAT deadline, then Evan is going to take me somewhere really fun. Maybe Sea World because I've never been, or Schlitterbahn because I've never really been to a water park. Can you tell I love incentives? It helps..otherwise I can come up with all kinds of excuses. Until then, I'm going to be spending countless hours in the gym, and my Biggest Loser Workout DVDs will be worn out. I'm sure Evan's fitness advice will be exhausted, as well. I'm lucky to have a husband that wants to be a conditioning coach for college/pro basketball/baseball. (I can also say that all of this is going to be research for my novel....it will come in handy.)

I know everyone says you always gain weight the first year you're married..With me, though, I don't think it has anything to do with comfort. I was comfortable with Evan before we were married because we lived together for a year. I think with me it was the notion that I didn't have an amazingly beautiful (and small) wedding dress hanging over my head any more. On our honeymoon, I had icecream at least 3 times a day. And lots and lots of carbs. I love Puerto Vallarta....more specifically, I love Barcelo La Jolla de Mismaloya. Great, great memories. (Picture is of me on our honeymoon on our room's balcony....I miss that view!)